Nope. No such feature. The closest you will fine is the system properties, but it doesn't really cover anything on your wishlist.
Java is a platform independent language and actively strives to defend you from the peculiarities of particular hardware. Obtaining the hardware specifics would encouraging coding to the metal and is thus not a desirable core feature.
JNI might be your answer. Since java is too restrictive for such a job, it solves this with native methods that allow you to call a function written in another language (currently only C and C++ are supported). Thus, you can always solve a platform-specific problem (in a relatively non-portable fashion, but then that code is isolated). Applets cannot call native methods, only applications.
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